Maruaders Guide To Everything
by Sara-x0
Summary: You'll laugh, you'll cry it will leave you in stiches :Rating might change..because of sugestive terms.


Maruaders Guide To Everything

**Chapter one.**

**Your Lovely hosts:**

Prongs. (The Extremely hot gifted one who can play Qudditch beat that! ;0)

Padfoot. (See Prongs.. then times by ten)

Moony. (-Shakes head- The one who puts up with all of this..)

Wormtail (The incredibly Handsome one (;)(Padfoot Adds in; The fat lazy and stupid one)

10 Rules of the Marauder 

**Rule 1;** _In order to be a Marauder you must be, Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, or Wormtail._

Padfoot: Prongs your no fun. In order to be a Marauder you must be.. umm.. Moony you take this?

Moony; Fine, you must be smart, wise, and brave.

Padfoot; -snorts- Peter Smart? James Wise? I think not, Maybe they describe you and I, but not Prongs and Wormtail.

Wormtail; what? HEY!

Prongs: Oh yes padfoot.. your wise.. a wise ass.

Moony; Ugh..

Padfoot: Are Not.

Prongs: Are too!

Moony; Stop this Right now and move on to Rule 2.

**Rule 2;** _Thou Shall not Snogith another Marauders Girl Friendith..er_

Prongs; That's rich Padfoot.. Not that anyone would want to Snog your girlfriends.

Padfoot; I wasn't talking about me, I'm not that self centered.

Prongs; could of fooled us.

Padfoot; If you must know I was talking about Peter and lily.

Wormtail;...WHAT...NEVER...

Moony: JAMES! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIS THOART!

Padfoot: He's turning blue.. wicked..

Prongs; Sirius...you soooo no your SOO lucky you are setting at the end of the table or else that would of been you.

Padfoot: ;-; I'm hurt prongs.

Moony; Shut up no one cares.

Wormtail; Don't any of you care? James could of KILLED ME!

Padfoot; ...your point?...

**Rule 3;** _A Marauder Can not kill another Marauder_

Wormtail; that's just for my safety...

Padfoot; See Moony that's why we can't give Peter privilege of making rules.. there soo dumb!

Prongs; Like we would want to kill each other! I love you guys.

Padfoot: Aww! now I feel all fuzzy inside!

Moony; Shut up you too. That was a very good rule Wormtail

**Rule 4;** _You must never keep a secret from one another_

Wormtail; Good one Moony!

Prongs; Stop being a kiss up..

Moony; Stop bickering, no one wants to read your bickering.

Padfoot; James..Prongs..I have a confession to make...

Prongs; Yes..

Moony; this could get interesting. Peter cover your eyes..

Wormtail: ...why?..

Padfoot: Jamesy Poo don't hurt me..

Prongs: er..Sirius..why are you standing by the exit?

Padfoot; For my safety..

Wormtail; how come your safety is important but mine isn't?

Prongs; Peter shut it for two seconds Okay? What did you do..

Moony; James Play nice.

Prongs; No.

Padfoot: Do you remember that picture..of..Lily? that you got in your fifth year..The picture that went missing..?

Prongs; Yes..The one of her..In the showers..that one..I do.. Why?

Padfoot; I accidentally...wrecked it..BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT! DON'T HURT ME!

Prongs; I'm...not..going...to..hurt...you..

Padfoot: Okay..Good.

Prongs; IM GOING TO KILL YOU!

Wormtail; Hmmh..this is entertaining..

Moony; Indeed.

Padfoot: BUT JAMES WHY DO YOU NEEDD A PICTURE! YOUR DATING NOW!

Prongs: Yes..I know that..BUT WE WEREN'T SIX MONTHS AGO!

Moony; JAMES PUT SIRIUS DOWN! RIGHT NOW!

**Rule 5;** _If Remus can't fix it, Madam Pomfery can._

Moony; Haha..

Padfoot; Its true..I COULD OF DIED! HE almost killed me.

Prongs; You talking about me bitch?

Padfoot; Ohhh is someone grumpy today?

Wormtail; Hmmh. I wonder why..

Padfoot; Wormtail, are you really that stupid? Do you not have a shred of common sense?

Wormtail; I was trying to be. sarcastic.

Padfoot; Save the funnys for the b-e-a-u-tiful people.

Prongs; Don't flatter your self.

Moony; Honestly..Guys play nice.

Prongs; Why?

Moony; If you lot played nice we wouldn't need this rule...

**Rule 6;** _Thou Shall not skip any meal._

Prongs; What's with the Thou shall ith talk Padfoot?

Padfoot: I dunno..it's suppose to make me sound smarter..

Moony; News Flash..Its not working.

Padfoot; Someone's a cranky werewolf this morning.

Moony; I swear anymore more, Remus is a werewolf jokes, and I will share my gift with you.

Padfoot; You wouldn't.

Moony; Want to bet?

Prong; Where's Wormtail?...

Padfoot: dunno..Don't care.

Moony; Hmmh.. Hold on.

Prongs: I bet he is still sleeping..-sigh-

Padfoot; Good dream last night there prongs?

Prongs: what..no..wait..how'd you know?

Padfoot; there was a lot of moaning -wink-

Prongs; Shut up..I wasn't..moaning.

Padfoot; Ouch..that hurt..Lily...Lily..Lily..ohh Lily..

Wormtail; Stop Imitating James, Padfoot.

Prongs; What..I don't do that!

Moony; Yes James..you do..and its actually quite annoy when one is trying to sleep...

**Rule 7;** _Spy on me..and I will kill you.._

Moony; James Change that..

Prongs; Fine!

**Rule 7;** _Do not spy on another Marauder.. But spying on Slytherins are okay in my book!_

Lily; James..don't you think that's a little mean?

Prongs; Lily Dearest when did you get here?

Lily; Not soon enough obviously.

Padfoot; 'Morning Lily Flower.

Lily; Sirius..its 2pm...

Moony: ignore him..That's what we do.

Wormtail; Yeah.

Padfoot; Haha, you couldn't ignore me if you tried!

Moony; I'm doing it now.

Wormtail; Yeah Padfoot were ignoring you! OHMIGAWD! Sirius did you see Ravenclaws New Beater?

Padfoot; I'm sorry, but your ignoring me peter remember?

Wormtail; Oh ya! thanks Padfoot.

Padfoot; Anytime...

Prongs; ...

Moony;...

Lily; Alright...I'm leaving...

Prongs; I'm going -wink- Later guys.

Lily; You don't have to announce it.

Padfoot; Prongsy, Fill me in on you and Lily-kins shag fest.

Lily; Honestly its a Head meeting, I don't know what James has been telling you..

Prongs; uh..later.

Moony; Well he seemed quick to leave.

Wormtail; There goes Lily...I hope she whacks him one.

Padfoot; Be right back guys I'm going to spy..

**Rule 8;** _Do Not..And I repeat.. DO NOT WALK INTO DORMS WHEN CLEARLY TWO PEOPLE ARE SNOGGING..SIRIUS._

Padfoot; Sorry mate..I thought someone was dying I swear.

Moony; Sure you did..

Wormtail; If you thought someone was dying..why did you have a camera and poster that said way to go James?

Padfoot; ...

Prongs; I hate you..I really do.

Padfoot; ...No I didn't you don't have proof!

Moony;...Shall I get the poster?

**Rule 9;** _Never EVER give a Marauder sugar..Unless you have alot of time and a death wish._

Padfoot; Lilums, that was one time and our 3rd year!

Lily; No Sirius, it was yesterday.

Prongs; .. No comment.

Moony; You have to admit it was..quite entertaining..

Wormtail; How come, Lily can make rules but I can't?

Prongs; Coz, Lilys my Sexy Girl friend

Lily; ...

Wormtail; But I am sexy Petie!

Padfoot: ...There are so many things I could say..but wont.

Wormtail; ...

**Rule 10;** _Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion._

Prongs; Not that you always have to care..

Lily; Aww Wormtail that was really sweet putting her on there.

Wormtail; -blush-

Padfoot; Uhhohh Looks like you got competition jamesy!

Prongs; Shut up.

Padfoot; Ouch, that one hurt James!

Prongs; Good it was intend to.

Moony; You guys..act like 3 year olds..

Prongs; Thats what my mum says about me! Moony i'm touched

Padfoot; Man James, I love your mum.

Prongs; ...don't make me share what you mom says about you...

Padfoot; You would'nt..THAT WAS FIRST YEAR WHEN SHE STILL LOVED ME! JAMES

Prongs; Sirius's mum is was very fond of talking about her ickle sirikins, he's so bright for his age, wet the bed till he was 12 though..

Wormtail; Hey Padfoot don't feel bad..My mom said the same thing about me!

Padfoot; No Wormtail..That was about you..My mother just talks about when i accidentally set the house of fire..And says I was her little fire demon from hell -sigh- I love me mum.

Moony; Touching..


End file.
